And what you can do about them...
Hey, can I just ask you a quick question?
That feels like a pretty harmless request, right? And typically, it is. Until it isn't. Let's get this out of the way right away, this is not about any particular person. This isn't about you. This isn't about me. This is a human thing that we all deal with on a daily basis. The problem comes when it continually derails our priorities and plans.
Why is it a Problem?
I know what you're thinking, what harm can a quick five minute chat have? Doesn't it seem cold and unfriendly to shut those kinds of connections down? And I get it, I do. And I'm not suggesting you never have a quick conversation ever again. (How isolating would that be?)
Here's the issue, most all of these quick conversations center around that other person's priorities and how you can help them accomplish those priorities. We, as people, want our priorities to be shared by others. We just do. It's human. I want other people to value the things I find important. This is an extension of that.
The problem comes when it detracts us constantly. And it will, if we let it. Think about it, each of these five minute conversations can lead to 10-20 min, to an hour or more of work. Time spent on tasks that center around someone else's priorities. And that's all well and good, if they are also your priorities, or you have the capacity to take that on.
We Are All Part of the Problem
Now's the hard part. Accepting that you and I, are also part of the problem. I know I am. I cannot tell you how many times in the past week or two I've walked into someone else's office, needing *just 5 minutes* so they can help me accomplish my priorities. Like I said, this is a very human thing. And that's ok! As long as we're aware of it.
What Do We Do About It?
Like I said, this is unavoidable. As long as you work beside humans, this will be an aspect of work. What can we do about it, though? How do we navigate this in a way that doesn't disrupt our workflow? Or at least minimizes the disruption?
Warning to my nice midwesterners, this might feel unfriendly. Setting boundaries often does. But you can do this, I promise.
First, we recognize everything you've just read. We recognize that people are bringing their priorities to you. We don't have to say it verbally, but just recognize that as they give that quick "knock, knock" at your door. They're not intentionally disrupting your day. It really has very little to do with you, actually. It's mostly about them. And again, that's ok. That's human.
Second, we listen. Listen to what they have to say if you have the time. If you don't have the time, communicate that. "I'm sorry, I want to hear what you have to say, and be able to give you my complete attention. Can we continue this conversation [at a given time]?"
Third, ask questions (both to yourself, and to the other person). What kind of time will this take? Will completing this task depend on other people and their schedules? Does this align with my pre-existing duties? Do I have the margin or capacity to take this on right now? Is this something that can be rescheduled to a time when I do have more capacity? Am I the best person for this task? (That last one is a question we typically forget to consider.)
Fourth, give an answer. "Yes," "no," "not right now," "I'll have to think about it and get back to you by [set a deadline]," or (one of my personal favorites) "Have you considered asking [person], I think they would actually be a better fit for this than I am." You may get pushback (especially if the answer is "no.") Whether you decide to explain your reasoning is up to you and the situation. Just remember that time is a limited commodity. When you spend it on one thing, you're not spending it on something else. It's worth asking the question - is this what I should be spending my time on? Is this the best use for my time, skills, etc?
A special note for my people-pleasers and Enneagram 3's - It is not your sole responsibility to solve everyone else's priorities. As an Enneagram 3, this is something I still have to work at remembering.